Actually, this is about assistants to the Executive Assistant DA. You know, the female assistant to Jack McCoy. It’s just that ‘Assistant to the Executive Assistant DA’ is quite a mouthful to put into a post title. Anyway, I’m of the television-watching camp that thinks Jack McCoy is one of the greatest creations of modern fictional media. But McCoy would be nothing without his trusty assistants. So here’s a return to the popular Top Four subject with a listing of my favorites. Since there are only so many to choose from, this is a true ranking from best to fourth-best.
As always with the Top Four, I don’t use any sort of scientific metric. For this ranking, I do consider things like screen presence, attractiveness, relationship with McCoy and so on but at the end of the day I just choose what I feel like choosing.
1. Jamie Ross (Carey Lowell)
Despite the short haircut, she had the eyes and the independence that made her my favorite. I love the way she carries herself.
2. Serena Southerlyn (Elisabeth Rohm)
She used to be my favorite but recent viewings (I watch a lot of Law and Order, it’s on TNT a lot during the day) have shifted my allegiance to Jamie Ross. Still, I like Serena’s naivety and the way she looks in non-work clothes. She also has that classic episode where she gets fired and, out of nowhere, reveals she’s gay.
3. Alexandra Borgia (Annie Parisse)
I always felt like she was a little overmatched compared to the assistants but I enjoyed watching her. She had a lot of thoughtful things to say – you know, the type of conversations where Law and Order tries to get all philosophical. I was a bit shocked by her violent ending (which led to one of the most implausible legal efforts ever).
4. Abbie Carmichael (Angie Harmon)
Now we’re getting into the second tier but that’s okay, this is a top four. Abbie Carmichael, she of the husky voice, comes in fourth. I don’t have much to say about her.
The two not on the list are alright but just don’t cut it. Claire Kincaid suffers mostly because her outfits are terrible. Weird thing to say but I can’t get over that mid-90s look. She did have a heartbreaking death, though. Connie Rubirosa suffers because I haven’t watched her as much. She needs more time to develop a personality.
Man, the more I think about this, the stupider this post seems. This is a really random thing to write about and smacks of shallow fandom, but whatever. I do watch a lot of Law and Order, and I’ve seen a lot of episodes lately. Maybe I’ll do a top four mathematical equations or a top four pork products soon to balance things out. Of course, I’m just as likely to do a top four Star Trek characters. Actually, let’s just get that out of the way now. In order: Data, Picard, Riker, Geordi. Honorable mention: Dr. Crusher and Worf. Now that’s a great show.
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