As I was chopping up some garlic this evening for dinner, my memories were cast back to a teacher I had in middle school by the name of Mr. Woodson. Mr. Woodson taught a class called Synergy when I was in the seventh grade. Synergy was basically a computer class but its curriculum consisted solely of SimAnt and touch-typing. While that may sound like a weak class, I did end up learning touch typing and can now out-type most administrative assistants. So it wasn’t a complete waste. Two things about Mr. Woodson stand out to me in my memory.
1. His use of the word “dunderhead.” Now you don’t hear that word very often. Especially not from a “Synergy” teacher who sort of reminds me of Moses Malone. It’s very intimidating when you’re a pipsqueak in the clutches of puberty when a man the size of Moses Malone thunders “dunderhead” in your direction.
2. His long nails. He was an assistant basketball coach on the seventh or eighth grade team. Maybe that’s why he reminds me of Moses Malone. He played basketball sort of how I expect Moses would play at his age. But anyway… man, Mr. Woodson had some nails. He took half the flesh off my arm while going up for a rebound. His attempts to patch me up with gauze and iodine were as comical as it was shocking to be mauled by a “Synergy” teacher in the manner of a big cat.
But why would garlic remind me of him? Well, we had this short-lived concept called merits in middle school. Touted as the opposite of demerits, you were encouraged to collect them because of a merit auction at the end of the semester. Teachers would offer various items and services and students would use their merits as currency. I can’t remember if I ever got anything out of these auctions so I figure I never earned many merits. There were gift certificates and things of that nature but Mr. Woodson’s offering was special. He offered a spaghetti dinner for your family. Why that never struck me as strange at the time escapes me. I mean, who would ever want to spend their hard-earned merits to eat Spaghetti with their “Synergy” teacher.
In conclusion, Moses is a great name. It should be more popular. I’d also love to see some non-Hispanic people have the name Jesus. Other great biblical names are Elijah, Solomon, Enos and Samson. Bonus female name: Miriam. Anyway, here’s a picture of Mr. Woodson dunking over Mr. Wetmore with a wig.
haha, great post. I too am reminded of that Synergy class when I see some of my non Synergized peers furiously trying to type with their chicken peck typing and I’m blazin by them at 300 wpm.
Another crucial part of that class: SimAnt and that assembly-line factory game.
i still remember
acc ace act add ado aft age ago…
For some reason, I never got to play SimAnt in that class. I’m not sure why. In fact, I can’t remember what I did in that class besides touch-typing.
You know, maybe Mr. Woodson’s spaghetti was really really good.