The Internet is great but sometimes you don’t want to sit in front of a screen reading a long article. That’s what the bathroom is for. Since it’s uncomfortable to sit in the bathroom with a laptop I would recommend you print these articles out and enjoy reading the old fashion way. Or read them on public transportation. Or wherever you’d like.

City of Fear by William Langewiesche, Vanity Fair, April 2007

Fascinating piece about the criminal network in Sao Paolo’s prisons. This guy Langewiesche has some great pieces for Vanity Fair. Check out his archive here. I really liked his article on Somalian Pirates and his account of Moloud Sihali.

Double Blind by Matthew Teague, The Atlantic, April 2006

The subheader calls it “The untold story of how British intelligence infiltrated and undermined the IRA.” A real-life spy story just as good or better than fiction – as most real-life spy stories are.

Origin of a Species: How a T. Rex Femur Sparked a Scientific Smackdown by Evan Ratliff, Wired, July 2009

Well, the title pretty much explains what the article is about. An interesting insight into how scientific breakthroughs are never as straightforward as the media would have you believe.

Offensive Play by Malcolm Gladwell, New Yorker, October 2009

Malcolm Gladwell is kind of a hot commodity as far as nonfiction writing is concerned. I’ve been making my way through The Tipping Point, a book with an interesting though fairly obvious topic that, unfortunately, is a bit repetitive. Gladwell’s style lends itself much better to shorter pieces like this one that compares dogfighting to football.

The Widow and the Oligarchs by Suzanna Andrews, Vanity Fair, October 2009

Vanity Fair is an excellent source for excellent articles. This one doesn’t have the best of writing but who needs to be a good writer when the story is so remarkable. Badri Patarkatsishvilli, the richest man in Georgia (the one on the other side of the world), dies and all hell breaks loose over his estate. Forged wills, American lawyers in a Belarussian prison, and secrete marriages.

The forgotten story of… Danish Dynamite by Rob Smyth and Lars Eriksen, Guardian Online, October 2009

If you’re a fan of soccer this is a must-read but even if you’re not it’s an interesting piece about one of the greatest international sides in football history… and it was from the tiny country of Denmark. By the by, I’m not a huge fan of the Guardian’s English football coverage but their European football bloggers are wonderful and they have a couple of great regular features, like Joy of Six.

The Song Decoders by Rob Walker, New York Times Magazine, October 2009

A piece about what goes on behind the scenes at Pandora, the popular and innovative online radio site that uses a Music Genome to recommend new music.

The Snatchback by Nadya Labi, The Atlantic, November 2009

Ride shotgun with a guy who re-kidnaps kids who’ve been taken away from legitimate parents. Custody battles across international borders.

It’s difficult to overcome high expectations. But truth be told, I didn’t have high expectations for this film. After all, I knew it was at heart a romance movie and I’m not really that interested in romances. I had trouble paying attention during this movie and it was the silliest things that made me lose my interest. Ultimately forgettable and I don’t really understand what everyone sees in this movie.

I do remember Kirsten Dunst quoting Nietszche and Alexander Pope kind of randomly. That was weird.

I feel like just shrugging my shoulders at this movie. It’s pretty much like watching a really cool video game – but not getting to play. The story is pretty much what you would expect from a video game. The guy in the main role reminds me of one of those crappy video game voice actors. The graphics, though, are really neat.

A lot of people are touting this as revolutionary? Really? The special effects in the Lord of the Rings movies are much better. The 3-D is cool at times but a little gimmicky – more suited to movies at the Smithsonian about dinosaurs. The only thing revolutionary is how much it cost to make. Perhaps they should have paid for better actors instead of Giovanni Ribisi and the guy from Dodgeball. The main bad guy, at least, is bad-ass and suitably hate-able.

Do I regret seeing this in the theater? Despite it being 2.5 hours and its ticket costing more than already inflated theater prices? No, not really. It’s a fun movie at times but it’s hard to avoid all the hype that came with it. As usual, it doesn’t measure up. It doesn’t even come close. I had a lot more fun watching Star Trek and District 9 in the theaters. So… even though this is a movie that panders as a crowd-pleasing popcorn-popper and I’m the perfect audience but all I can say is, eh, whatever.

Genuinely creepy movie with some hardcore goosebump moments.

An intense movie about a girl who helps her roommate get an abortion in Communist-era Romania. The atmosphere is thick. You can just taste that crumbling, decrepit hopelessness of the era. The main girl is brilliant in her role, the girl getting the abortion is annoyingly stupid and the abortion doctor is, well, geez, he’s really complex for a secondary character. What’s fascinating about the film is how the scenes are so mundane but the abortion lends them extraordinary drama. It’s one of those foreign films that put saccharine Hollywood dramas to shame.

The movie is about the Red Army Faction, some left-wing radicals who go around blowing shit up and killing people in 1970s Germany. The sleepy, tobacco-riddled eyes of Martina Gedeck are magnetic. There are moments I want to go protesting and flipping off the establishment; but most of the time the movie drives home just misguided and bonkers these people were. As for the movie itself, at times it drags but I watched the whole thing in one sitting. It’s 2.5 hours. Good enough to keep me interested.

I’ve put hip hop on hiatus for a little bit and have been listening to Mercan Dede almost constantly at home. Since I work from home, that means whenever I’m listening to music he’s usually filling up the speakers with that East-West fusion. I’m naturally inclined to this stuff because of that wicked combination of nature and nurture, genes and environment, etc etc. The best part is when there’s 2-3 minutes of build-up and then POW out of nowhere an utterly gorgeous melody. And the even better part of the best part is that there is no more magical music then the classic Arab/Turkish/Persian sound (this guy is Turkish). It’s like one of those transporters from Star Trek but made out of neys and darbukas. It takes you to a different world. Beam me up, Ali Baba!

Here are a bunch of his songs. I tried to cover all of his albums (except Journeys of a Dervish, I was never able to get into that one).

Ab-i Hayat (from Su, 2003)

Stand aside Dizzy Gillespie. It takes about three minutes of buildup but this track turns into a great Middle Eastern jazz piece.

Falname (from Seyahatname, 2001)

I actually don’t care for this album too much but the title of the track lets me mention the stunning exhibition of Falnama (Arabic for falname) paintings at the Sackler Gallery in the Smithsonian.

Hininga (from Nefes, 2007)

Great melodies on the songs from this album.

Samana (from Nefes, 2007)

800 (from 800, 2007)

Not my favorite track from the album but it has a pretty good rap and is a little different than what you might be used to.

Pamuk Prenses ve 7 Cuceler Ali Baba ve 40 Haramilere Karsi (from 800, 2007)

My favorite album of his. I simply had to include this song because of its great name: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves versus Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves.

Nar-i Sems (from Nar, 2002)

Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi – Dream of Shams (from Sufi Dreams, 1998)

Because of popular demand (that is, like, two people) I am turning I Love Rap into a semi-regular series. Maybe once every 2-3 weeks or so. Add the blog to your favorite RSS feed and keep up with the hip hop goodness. Ever since I stopped adding pictures of famous people, my stats have been going way down, puncturing my hopes of providing for myself and any future family with a hyper-monster blog. So bring the love.

This time around, I highlight some of the songs you might have missed – those tracks that are buried deep within an artist or group’s catalog. I can’t pretend that any of these songs will be your cup of tea on the first or even the tenth listen. For me, most of them resonated after I listened to an album countless times until I could taste their greatness outside of the shadow of the immediately tasty tracks. Without further ado.

The Roots – I Remain Calm (Do You Want More?!!!??!, 1995)

The Roots are still making records. Sometimes I give them a whirl but don’t pay too much attention. The magic just isn’t the same. A lot has changed for the Roots since the early days but I wonder if one of the main reasons for their relative decline is the lack of Malik B. Black Thought was always the deserved lead performer but the straightforward performances of Malik B provided a wonderful balance – without him the rapping is a little monotone.

Pete Rock (f Raekwon, Ghostface Killah, Prodigy) – Tha Game (Soul Survivor, 1998)

It’s really the beat that does it for me on this track. It feels epic even though not much is going on. Far from the typical Pete Rock sound but still brilliant to my ears. I can’t get enough of it. It doesn’t hurt that one of my all-time favorites and hands-down the best Wu member (Ghostface) is a guest. He’s in dada verbal calisthenics mode for this one. Great stuff. And yet another classic beat snippet at the end of the track.

Jay-Z – D’Evils (Reasonable Doubt, 1996)

There’s no doubt Jay-Z is the most successful rapper in history. Certainly not the best but definitely the most successful. In the 10+ years since his debut, he’s had countless great tracks but as far as albums go surely Reasonable Doubt is his finest. So little has changed – the flow is the same, the lyrics the same brand of bragadaccio and his producers the cream of the game (this track produced by Primo). But there’s something I can’t quite place about Reasonable Doubt that sets it apart – maybe a hungriness for success that’s missing from his later albums? Whatever it is, this is one of my favorite tracks off the album. Using samples for the hook never gets old.

Busta Rhymes – Turn it Up (When Disaster Strikes, 1997)

What’s great about this series is the fruit of my research into these songs. For example, I had no clue DJ Premier produced D’Evils and was shocked to see that Busta himself produced this track. I feel like the two main singles from this album – Dangerous and Put Your Hands where My Eyes Could See – haven’t aged too well. This cut on the other hand, is the only song from this album I ever put on playlists. It’s not Busta at his craziest but the Al Green sample is just too much soul to pass up.

OutKast (f Cool Breeze, Big Gipp) – Decatur Psalm (ATLiens, 1996)

Andre 3000 – one of the best rappers ever in my opinion. But he’s not on this track. Big Boi, however is, and he’s flanked by two guys who sound like 400-pound offensive lineman that could snap your neck with the flick of the pinkie – Cool Breeze and Big Gipp of Goodie Mobb. In reality, judging from a quick Google search, both of them seem to be of reasonable size and weight. Both of them have flows that are, well, rudimentary but their styles fit the dirty funk beat of this track. Add the awesome hook and soulful fade-out and I’m sold.

PS I am willing to argue that ATLiens is OutKast’s best album.

Dr. Dre (f Lady of Rage, Kurupt, RBX) – Lyrical Gangbang (The Chronic, 1992)

What? No Snoop? No G-Funk beat? Surely this is a throw-away track on one of the all-time classics? Nah… This is just three hard rappers taking advantage of a hard beat. The main draw might be the microphone presence of Lady of Rage. Hands down, the best female rapper ever. But it diminishes her talent to classify her in terms of her gender. It’s a shame that her legacy is composed of some (great) guest spots and Afro Puffs. I feel like it should have been so much more. Trust me when I say I played this at high volume in a residential area many a time.

PS A great Rage guest spot is on the You Know My Steez Remix. Not sure what album it’s from but it is on Gang Starr’s Full Clip retrospective.

How good is granola? So good. And how easy is it to make? So easy… Why bother buying simply okay granola from the store and pretending it’s delicious when you can make your own for cheaper. An even greater appeal to making granola than the economy is the fact that you control the ingredients. You like it sweet – make it sweet. You like cashews and cranberries? Put them in. Make a lot, make a little… Well, go ahead and make a lot because it’s so good and it keeps so well. It’s great for breakfast when mixed with yogurt (make yogurt at home too!) or as a snack any time of the day.

Granola with yogurt

This recipe is adapted from Alton Brown. It’s a good start though a little too sweet for me. See my notes for how I customize.

3 cups rolled oats (Rolled oats are the basic oatmeal oats. Steel-cut oats do NOT work well in granola.)

1-2 cups nuts (I always put sliced almonds in combination with walnuts, hazelnut or pecan pieces. Saltier nuts like peanuts and cashews would certainly work too. I would stay away from whole almonds.)

1/4 cup + 2tbsps maple syrup (This is the only pricey ingredient. But one jar is good for about five batches of granola.)

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1/4 cup + 2tbsps brown sugar (I think this is waaay too much. Last time I made granola, I only put in 2 teaspoons brown sugar. That’s right teaspoons. The coconut and drizzling with honey provide enough sweetness.)

3/4 cup shredded coconut (You can definitely leave the coconut out but I’ve found that even a little bit is a great addition to granola).

Anything else you can think of – the purpose is to customize the granola. For example, I love putting some broken-up banana chips in my granola.
Mix the maple syrup together with the vegetable oil and a dash of salt. Mix everything else together in a bowl then add the oil and syrup. Mix until well incorporated. Spread on a baking pan (I put wax paper on the pan for easy cleanup). At this point, I usually drizzle with a good amount of honey. Bake at 250 F for about an hour and definitely mix everything up every 15 minutes so that all the oats get browned.

Granola is extra delicious straight out of the oven. Add dried fruit if desired and store in an airtight jar.

Granola close up

By the way, I went sailing for the first time recently. And because I’m hardcore I went sailing when it was raining and cold. That’s because I’m a man and real men have a bit of hardcore sea dog in them. But enough horn-tooting and let me tell you what it’s like to go sailing if you’ve never been before. I do hear that it’s better in fair weather but even with the elements conspiring against us it was a marvelous blend of the miserable and exhilirating.

Dressed halfway with the boat in the background

I got a random call from my seasoned sailor buddy Rog Mahal asking me if I wanted to fill an open spot on a boat, knowing full well I’d never sailed. This came with the caveat that I make a weight limit. I was immediately suspicious because other activities that involve weight limits – like boxing and wrestling – come packaged with broken faces or nasty diseases. In any case, the weight limit didn’t matter nor did the drive to Annapolis at 8 in the morning – on daylight savings day no less, the best day for sleeping in the entire year. On my way over, I kept giving dirty looks to the heavens with their dark clouds showing no sign of letting up the downpour. But I gallantly strode on cause, you know, I’m hardcore like that.

Lesson Number One of sailing is to stay as dry as possible. Which means don’t wear jeans and a t-shirt. Thankfully, I was provided some slick gear but had to make do with my old Adidas, leading to an uncomfortable lack of feeling in my right foot halfway through the first race. Borrowing some fancy waterproof socks fixed the numbness and made me confident I would be keeping all of my toes at the end of the day. My Big Bad Wolf (the rollercoaster) hat (with ear flaps) was looked upon with disdain so I had to use alternative headgear. Gloves would have been useful but my hands got used to the cold eventually. PS – chap stick comes in handy.

That's me to the right by the mast holding the boom in position

The races themselves were exciting because half the time I didn’t know what was going on. Sitting on the side of the boat, I look out at a sea of other boats and had no idea how we were doing until the very end. That makes things more interesting. The near-crashes, the mid-race course changes and angry skippers get the old hemoglobin flowing as well. Maybe if I were a little more experienced it would have been even more fun but there was a definite element of enjoyment in two basic principles I followed: don’t fall off and don’t mess up.

Waiting for the magic words - "Heartily!"

Another great aspect is the camaraderie. It’s just great having the skipper curse your name and desecrate your gods during the race and then be all chummy when all is said and done. And, hey, he got me a t-shirt so I must have done something right. After all, the day I raced we finished 13th and 9th – which, by the way, was the best the boat did all weekend. I’m not sure if I did anything positive that was statistically significant or if I have the God-given gift of providing ballast, which, by the way, was my main job. One of three, as follows:

1. Provide ballast

Basically, the boat is tipped over to one side so precariously that everyone has to be on the other side to prevent the boat from falling over. When the skipper decides to tack – which just means turn right or left – he says some jargon to prepare you and then something like “Heartily.” Upon that Pavlovian keyword, the idea is to duck so as to avoid the big-ass boom pole swinging toward you, scramble to the other side and sit your ass back down. Doing that about 30 times in a couple of hours and you’re covered in bruises the next day. When you’re going with the wind it’s called jiving (I think it’s with a ‘v’ but might be ‘jibing’) and you have to loosen some random rope.

The blue sail is the spinnaker - soon it and I become one

2. Push the boom pole

This part sucks. When you go with the wind, the spinnaker sail comes up and then the unlucky Number Five (which is what I call my position – I can’t remember the real name but it was dumb) has to make sure the boom pole stays forward. This means keeping your arms up for a long time cause you still have to be sitting. Boring and tiring.

3. The Human Pole

Great name and definitely an exhilarating experience. When it’s time for the spinnaker to come down, the bowman detaches the metal pole that connects it to the mast. But while that’s happening someone has to act as the pole for the spinnaker. That someone is Number Five. Being the Human Pole entails grabbing on to something on the boat, leaning most of your body off the boat and holding the end of the spinnaker so that 1) it doesn’t fly away and 2) still catches wind optimally. It’s really a lot of fun balancing the concepts of staying on the boat and keeping your shoulder from separating. You keep doing that for a few minutes until someone yells more jargon at which point you throw yourself back on to the deck and start pulling the sail back. At least that’s what I did.

You might be shocked at how I think any of this is enjoyable especially when considering that the weather was pretty much mixed rain all day long. But it was enjoyable. It’s taxing on the body, it’s precarious and it was effing cold but there’s a constant adrenaline rush and flurries of pure undistilled excitement. Despite the fact that at least 10% of the sailors out there were female, it made me feel like a man. If I were married, I would have gone home, ordered the wife to make me some meat and potatoes and bacon, cracked open a six-pack and watched football the rest of the day. Right after I stopped shivering.

Rocking the adidas and providing ballast

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